Tears as Streams of Stars
by Fizzalicious Cherri
Summary: From the age of 12, S+S promised to meet at a tree 5 years later. Syaoran came, but Sakura didn't. Syaoran is desperate, so he goes on a search for her, and finally finds the tear wrenching truth of what happened to Sakura Kinomoto.
1. Inner Beauty

  
  
  
  
AN: Hehehe my 2nd CCS fic ^_^ Quite angsty if you ask me, but yeah, I'm a S+S writer ok? So basically, naturally this fic is S+S :P Doesn't need a brain to figure that out okie dokiez? Well I hope you enjoy this fic, it's a bit complicated but not really.  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
_Thinking_ in italics  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter One: Inner Beauty  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri  
  
  
  


  
  
I'm standing here, waiting...waiting for her. Why hasn't she come? I'm sure she would...maybe she's just a bit late, like she usually is.  
  
A smile forms on my tight lips as the wind picks up, blowing gently at my face and through the branches of the cherry blossom tree looming over me. This cherry blossom tree, was _ our _cherry blossom tree. Five years ago, when I was only 12, she and I made a promise to come back here on April 1st, five years later. And I did just that, but where is she?  
  
Why isn't she here? Did she forget? No...she wouldn't forget this would she? Or maybe...she's mad at me? Mad at me for having to leave for five years...so she decided not to come? But it wasn't my fault...I had to go back, the clan needed me, I had to go back. But it's not like her to be mad at me over something like this...  
  
Then where is she? WHERE is she?  
  
  
  
A young man at the age of 17 leaned against the trunk of a tall healthy cherry blossom tree. Its branches were covered with beautiful lush pink petals so full of color and life.  
  
The boy looked frustrated, although awfully calm at the same time. The area around him was so silent...except for a few sounds of trees shifting about restlessly, a few birds singing out a few chopped up notes. But that was it. It was just him and nature.  
  
He glanced down at his watch and turned around to look the other direction. Maybe she would come from this way...  
  
His amber eyes searched the trunk of the tree carefully, until his pupils locked gaze with an engraving marked on the trunk.  
  
_"S+S forever."_ Was carved in childish writing deep into the trunk. The boy traced his fingers on the word 'forever'.  
  
_Is it really forever? If it is...why aren't you here? _He breathed in deeply, lifting his head to the spring air and sunshine. He closed his eyes, feeling slightly relaxed, but disappointment filled his heart soon after.  
  
  
  
You're really not going to come...are you? Are you really going to disappoint me like this? Break my heart...? That's not like you...my little cherry blossom, that is not like you at all. You wouldn't...have the heart to do this to me...would you?  
  
Do you know how much I missed you when I trained everyday? Everyday I tried to keep myself busy, hoping the days would fly faster if I just had things to do. I had lots to do infact, but could I ever ever ever forget that smiling face of yours? No. You haunted me in day, at night, in my dreams and thoughts. Memories too.  
  
Finally, five years have gone by, but...you are not here...I will wait this whole day for you...you will come, right?  
  
...This tree hasn't changed at all...has our love changed? I feel that my feelings towards you, are stronger than ever, they haven't weakened. How about you, Sakura? Have you changed? Are you still the genki (cheerful) kind girl I once knew? I have so many questions to ask you, so many stories to tell you, so why don't you come back to me so I can tell you everything? And you can tell me all your stories...ask me all the questions in the world...where are you...  
  
Now I feel tears, building in my eyes. No. Am I crying? Now I'm laughing...and crying. Great.  
  
If everyone in the world could see me now, they wouldn't believe it was me, the cold heartless Li Syaoran. People will be shocked if they see me crying...then they'll start laughing, pointing at me saying 'Oh! The clan leader is crying!'. That's what I hate. I hate how people that have great responsiblities are thought to be...so strong. Tearless. No human is like that...everyone has feelings, emotions, times when they're happy and sad.  
  
I hate how the world thinks I'm always strong, always there if the clan needs me. What if one day I'm not there? What would happen? Would mother cry and break down into despair? Would the clan collaspe because they thought they're leader would always be there carrying the responsibilities? How wrong they are, I could decide to step out on them anytime. But I don't.  
  
But I laugh, because I was never like this before. Possibly, in my younger years I was cold, I was mean to everyone, but no one knew deep inside I had feelings too. Except for _ her_. She knew I had feelings, she knew I had thoughts, she knew _me_ . She released me from my cage of stress and dispair. She opened a whole new world to me, a world where sun could shine through, a world of changing seasons.  
  
Unlike the world I use to live in, when it was always autumn.  
  
Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. Your name has never stopped revolving in my brain. And it's not going to stop any time soon. Are you thinking of me right now? Thinking that you _ should_ be here, at our tree,_ right _now? Please Sakura...please show up...  
  
Sakura...Sakura...now I'm screaming your name out loud. I don't care, I'm going to keep on shouting. Sakura, Sakura, Sakura...now it's becoming like a song to me...can you hear me calling out to you? Do you hear the desperation in my voice?  
  
I feel dizzy, sadness is filling me, corsing through my viens...it's so painful it's hard to imagine. I never knew I could be in so much pain...emotionally.  
  
I so badly want you to show up right in front of me right now...but for some reason, I know you won't show up...not today, maybe tomorrow, but not today. Are you playing a game of hide and seek with me Sakura? Why aren't you here? Don't you remember our meeting today? I so badly want to see you, how a wonderful young lady you would've grown into....  
  
I'm falling...falling to the ground as I collaspe on my knees. I've been waiting...for hours...it's twilight now...you still haven't come. The sun is setting...my hope is setting...Sakura...  
  
Sakura....  
  
.....Sakura....  
  
I feel dizzy...hopeless...now I'm tired, tired of waiting and hoping...just come...come back to me....  
  
  
  
"Arigatou Sae," A women smiled at the girl who handed over her a bag of groceries.  
  
The girl nodded slowly, and tried to smile. "Your welcome." She replied in a whisper that was barely audible.  
  
The women frowned slightly as she watched the girl slowly walk up the stairs in a sort of limp. The women knew that the girl had gotten in an accident of some sort because of the scars on her face, and the limp in her leg. But she had never asked Sae about it.  
  
Although Sae had showed up from no where, the women felt sorry for the girl and had accepted her into the house. She was a widow and felt lonely at times, and having Sae's company helped alot, even though the girl was so quiet.  
  
Upstairs in her small but cozy room, Sae lowered herself onto her bed by the corner of the room. She glanced at the mirror that hung on the wall in front of her.  
  
She frowned and a small tear trickled down her face. One hand raised to touch her cheek, a long bloody scar was left there, though she couldn't remember why and how it got there. She knew that scar would forever remain on her cheek, she hated it though, it was ugly. It made her feel ugly.   
  
"You are a beautiful child," Ms. Egami had said warmly to her one day when she went out to help her buy dinner.  
  
Sae tried to believe her, but she felt like Ms. Egami had said it to be nice. Sae sighed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. One thing she was proud about herself was her hair and her eyes. But that was it.  
  
She laid down on the soft bed and closed her eyes. Everyday she desperately tried to remember. Remember her past, why she had that scar on her face, and basically, who she was.  
  
A pounding headache started in her head as she shut her eyes tightly and drifted into sleep.  
  
  
  
The road sped quickly beside her from the rear mirror, the city behind her that she remembered clearly as Tomoeda became smaller and smaller.   
  
The sky was dotted with stars, it seemed like a happy night, but not at all for her.  
  
She pressed the gas pedal harder as tears of rage and sadness rolled down her cheeks in streams. Trickling off drop. by. drop. from her chin and down onto her lap.  
  
Drop. drop. drop.  
  
Every tear seemed to glow, catching the light from the moon, making them seem like falling stars. Tears...as streams of stars.  
  
The road was empty, at least so far it was. But suddenly, a light came closer, and closer...and she felt her body being torn from the seat and torn from herself. She felt numb...she felt nothing.  
  
  
"Sae!! Sae??"  
  
Her eyes fluttered open as she got up to the call of Ms. Egami. "Hai Egami-san?"  
  
"Dinner is ready," The women called back.  
  
Sae sat up slowly, a small crack heard from her back as she stretched. "That same dream again." She mumbled as she placed her feet on the carpeted floor.   
  
"What's for dinner?" Sae tried to sound cheerful as she limped down the stairs, holding tightly onto the rail.  
  
Mrs. Egami placed a plate down on the table. "Noodles."  
  
"Fried?"  
  
"Hai, fried," Mrs. Egami replied as she sat down.  
  
Sae joined her and placed her chopsticks in the middle of the plate, playing with a strand of noodle before placing it in her mouth. After a couple more minutes she noticed that Mrs. Egami was watching her eat. "Is something the matter?" She asked.  
  
Mrs.Egami smiled, a sad smile. "Sae..."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"You've been with me for a year or so neh?" Mrs. Egami questioned thoughtfully.  
  
Sae nodded slowly.  
  
Mrs. Egami took of her hands and held it tightly. "I don't know whatever happened to you child, but I care for you just like a mother, and I want you to know that."  
  
Sae smiled, "Arigatou...to tell you the truth...I don't know what happened to me either."  
  
Mrs. Egami looked at her, and Sae just sighed, "I always have the same dreams...two or three of them. I dream a different one of them every night. But it's always one of those dreams...I just had one a while ago."  
  
"Go on," Mrs. Egami urged.  
  
"I think it was me, in a car," Sae continued. "I was driving, really fast! I think...I was crying...and I drove faster, and faster...and then a light came nearer and nearer..." Sae said it in wide eyes. "Then I felt like my body was being torn from my soul..." Sae's eyes watered. "I was so scared...and I still am..."  
  
Mrs. Egami tightened her grip on Sae's hand. "Oh child, you must've had a rough past..."  
  
"I...guess so," Sae uttered.  
  
"After dinner I suggest you go to bed early, there is school tomorrow."  
  
Sae frowned slightly, "I don't like going there."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"...People make fun of me I guess," Sae laughed softly. "I sound like a child confessing that I've been bullied."  
  
Mrs. Egima shook her head, "Iie (no) Sae. It is perfectly fine to say what you feel. People make fun of you?"  
  
"Hai..." Sae sighed. "Of my looks."  
  
Mrs. Egima sighed deeply, "Sae, don't let those people get to you ok? They all aren't as beautiful as you."  
  
Sae laughed, "That's hard to believe."  
  
"Iie Sae, it's inner beauty that counts. If they have the heart to mock you, they aren't beautiful inside," Mrs. Egima smiled and pushed her hair back. "Well, I guess we better get going on the dishes."  
  
Sae sat there for a moment, taking in what Mrs. Egima had just told her. _It's inner beauty that counts._ Sakura's lips formed a smile as she helped with the dishes. _Egima-san is so wise...I'm so glad I've met her.  
  
  
_That night, Sae was under her blankets. Knowing tomorrow was going to be another hard day, but days go by, and you had to face them.  
  
Sae finished brushing her hair in bed, and placed her comb on her night table.  
  
A single strand of auburn hair drifted down to the peach colored carpet.  
  
  
  
AN: This was just getting into the story ok? Maybe you all might not have got this, but for the people that understand, don't spoil it all :P Hehehehe there's also more to it that will be revealed later on. The inner beauty stuff I actually got from one of my friends...hahaha thanks. Well, thanks for reading this first chapter and I hope you liked it so far ^_^   
  
  
  



	2. I trust yet I fear

  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
_Thinking_ in italics  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Two: I trust yet I fear  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
"You know, you should stop drinking."  
  
The bartender got no reply. "I didn't even ask for your ID young man. I suggest you stop drinking because you look like you're about to vomit."  
  
The boy slammed the glass down on the counter and looked up at the bartender through strands of brown hair falling into his eyes. "Do you know I waited one whole day?"  
  
The bartender stared at him weird but didn't say a word. "I waited, she didn't come." The boy muttered and started laughing sadly. "Do you know what it feels like?"  
  
"No sir. And here's your bill..."  
  
The boy growled and slapped the bill aside. "I'm not done yet!! And I'm not _sir_ , I'm Li Syaoran! Hear of that name?!"  
  
The bartender looked frightened, "Yes, yes of course..."  
  
"Give me another beer," Syaoran muttered.  
  
"That wouldn't be smart Mr.Li."  
  
Syaoran reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet to throw a twenty dollar bill at the bartender. "Whatever." He grumbled and got off his seat and walked towards the door slowly. "If you ever see her, tell her that I'm waiting."  
  
"Um, sure."   
  
He pushed the door open and entered the cool night streets of Tomoeda's shopping district. It was late, very late at night, and not many people were walking the streets.  
  
"Why didn't you come damnit!!" He yelled at the dark sky, sadness and anger covered his features. "WHY!?"  
  
"Stop yelling out there!!" A women yelled from an apartment window.  
  
Syaoran dropped his head, his gaze on the dirty sidewalk. "Why..." He muttered under his breath. "Do you not love me anymore? Did I waste five years and you just went along with your life?!" He kicked the street lamp next to him even though it sent a searing pain up his foot.  
  
He felt numb. "Or maybe...maybe you were busy today. Yeah...maybe you'll come tomorrow..." Syaoran said softly as he walked back towards the cherry blossom tree..._ their _cherry blossom tree. It took him longer than he expected as he leaned against the trunk in despair.  
  
His vision was getting blurry, as the stars in the sky became blurry splotches of glowing light. He let out a groan as he dropped to the ground.  
  
  
  
_ "Sakura, I need to talk to you." He said grimly one autumn afternoon over the phone.  
  
There was a slight pause before the girl on the other end of the line replied. "Ok Shaoran. I'll meet you at Penguin park."  
  
He placed the phone down warily and left his apartment to meet his girlfriend. He knew today was going to be the last time he got to see her for a while....  
  
And then he saw her, standing peacefully under that cherry blossom tree a bit away from the big penguin slide. Her back was to him, the wind gently blowing her short auburn hair around.  
  
"Sakura."  
  
She turned and smiled at him. "Shaoran!!" She cried in delight as she ran over to him, but then she seemed to realize something. The look on his face, pure sorrow.  
  
"...Shaoran...?" She blinked in confusion, her innocent emerald eyes worried. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"I'm going back." Was all he could mumble.  
  
Sakura tilted her head. "Going back where silly?"  
  
"Home. China. Hong Kong. The clan wants me there so I can train to become the future leader." He explained the whole complicated situation to her. In one chopped up sentence.  
  
"...China? You're leaving Tomoeda...?" She asked shakily.  
  
He nodded, he hated seeing her this way. God why did he have to hurt her? "I'll be back though. In five years."  
  
Sakura stared at him and fell into his embrace. "Five years!!" She cried into his chest. "How will we find each other after five years?!"  
  
"...We'll meet back here?" Syaoran suggested in a whisper so only Sakura could hear, not the birds around them, nor the butterflies floating around them. But only her.  
  
Sakura looked him in the eye, and nodded sadly. "We'll meet here. April 1, promise?" She stood back and stuck out her pinky.  
  
Syaoran hooked his pinky around her delicate small one and they stared at each other for a moment before Syaoran turned on his heels and ran.  
  
"SYAORAN!!" He could hear the cry of despair ringing throughout the park, Tomoeda, and all the way in his heart and back to China._   
  
  
  
  
"Hey witch! Watch where you're going!"  
  
Sae apologized numbly as she quickly walked on down the hallway of Tsuki High School. The main high school of the city Tsuki.  
  
She always wore a cap in the hallways, but not in class since the teacher said it was rude. At least she thought the cap shaded a bit of her face.  
  
Although she felt awfully lonely all the time, she sometimes enjoyed the silence of being alone. Sae had no particular interest in any subjects except for some strange reason she found writing poetry an enjoyable thing to do to past her time.  
  
She opened up her bag as she took a seat on a bench and pulled out a notebook and a pen. Her hand held the pen tightly, her eyes staring at the fresh new page blankly until all of a sudden she placed her pen down and started writing.  
  
Sorry I haven't been there  
Sorry I wasn't the one  
Sorry I was always on the run  
  
Sae paused, lifting her pen up a bit and staring at the words she had woven together out of no where. She smiled slightly, she liked how her poems came out of no where but made so much sense. At least to her.  
  
_I don't know how I do it._ Sae thought, a bit proud. _But all my poems...I feel like I'm part of them...like I've been through what I've written._  
  
Then, she didn't know what to write next. _ Maybe I'll just leave it at that...for now._  
  
She flipped onto another page that she had written on before and glanced at the top of the page to see what she had named the poem._ I am me._  
  
I am swirls of blue, green, red, yellow, purple, orange, and the colors no one can name  
I am the sky, the sea, the earth.  
I trust yet I fear.  
I hide yet I dont hold anything back.  
I am free  
I am me, and me is just right.   
  
She sighed deeply._ This poem...is what I want to be._ Sae reached into her bag and pulled out a small tube of white-out and squeezed it so the white liquid covered the title.  
  
She blew on it for a few seconds and then placed her pen tip where the old title use to lay, but was now underneath the surface of white guk. _What I want to be._ She wrote neatly in replacement and closed her notebook shut with a pleased smile as she tucked her book back into her bag.  
  
The bell rang, signaling the last half of the day. Sae quickly hurried across the soccer field, but unfortunately for her she was struck by a soccer ball right in the stomach.  
  
She winced but made no sound as she looked under her cap to see who had kicked the ball.  
  
"Sorry witch." A guy chuckled and came over to kick the ball away.  
  
Sae frowned as she continued on her way. She was use to it now, she had always been called 'witch' since the second day of the first week of school at Tsuki High.  
  
_Someday I'll show them...that I'm human too._  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran awoke sitting under the shade of the great branches of the cherry blossom tree. He stretched his arms and scrunched up his nose at the awful smell of beer around him.  
  
Actually, after a few sniffs he noticed it _came _from him. "God..." He got up slowly, smacking his forehead as he did so to try and tame the fiery headache burning in his head.  
  
And then he realized again...she didn't come. Syaoran wandered the streets of Tomoeda, noticing that all didn't change that much, except that the penguin slide near their tree looked much older and more used.  
  
A couple new stores lined the streets, but Syaoran remembered everything.   
  
_If you're not coming, I'm coming to you._ Syaoran thought as he walked up the familiar street that led to her house. An image of the yellow cozy home flashed threw his mind for a few seconds before he realized he had walked by it.  
  
But...he hadn't?  
  
But...he was already past the street it was suppose to be on.  
  
Syaoran looked around and then forward. Gone. That was the word. Everything was gone.  
  
She was gone.  
  
Her home was gone.  
  
Hope was gone.  
  
"...Sakura....?" He walked back towards where her house was suppose to be. Instead, a newer and bigger house stood in its place. A white painted house, a small porch at the front with lively colored pots of flowers lined up on the window sill.  
  
A tall apple tree grew in the front lawn, producing shiny ripe apples that a couple birds were pecking at. Peaceful.  
  
Curiousity took over him as he walked up the steps to the front door and peeked through one of the many clean windows. He could see what he assumed as the family room because of the T.V, couches, and a coffee table covered with a bunch of magazines. The T.V. had been left on, displaying a Japanese anime show with cute little characters running around the screen.  
  
He raised his hand and pressed the doorbell.   
  
He waited...and waited...  
  
"Uh...who are you?"  
  
Syaoran stared at the person standing in the doorway, leaning slightly on one foot with a towel wrapped around their hair. "Excuse me, but who are you? Are you some adveristment guy cause I'm not interested."  
  
"Sakura?" Syaoran uttered, staring into the girl's glassy green eyes.   
  
The girl raised an eyebrow. "You're selling cherry blossoms? Sorry I'm still not interested."  
  
Syaoran shook his head. "No..." He stepped closer towards the door, making the girl shrink back a bit.   
  
"Hey! Are you a robber!?" She suddenly exclaimed. "If you are I'm going to scream!!"  
  
Syaoran shook his head even more furiously but he so badly wanted to go into the house. Was this Sakura? Why couldn't she remember him. He stepped even closer, one foot onto the wooden floor.  
  
"Get away!!" The girl pushed him back, making the towel fall off her head revealing a viel of shiny auburn hair.  
  
"Sakura!" Syaoran exclaimed.  
  
  
  
  
AN: Heh...are you guys confused? Don't be confused :P Hehehehe well, maybe you are all confused but I don't blame you. Also the poems on this page aren't mine ok? They are just famous poems written by misc people. Well, I hope you liked this chapter :)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Wishing

  
  
  
  
AN: Hehe thanks for the reviews so far everyone :) I wonder how I can concentrate on writing fics when I have music playing so loudly when I'm writing...guess that's why sometimes when I re-read my stuff I find a bunch of weird typos :P Once I wrote the title wrong..."Tears as Streams of Water"...haha, I was listening to some song and I guess it said 'water'. Well I'll continue onto the chapter now ^_^  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Three: Wishing  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The girl grabbed the towel off the ground and forcefully shoved Syaoran out the door. "What is with you and Sakura?!"  
  
"Aren't you Sakura?!" Syaoran cried desperately as he regained his balance.  
  
The girl looked at him as if he was insane. "Geez, no! My name is not Sakura, and I'm not going to even tell you my name! You might be some stalker....waste of good looks..." She muttered in the end and closed the door quickly.  
  
Syaoran stood there for a few moments before he knocked again. Once, twice...until finally the girl opened the door again, a frustrated look on her face.  
  
"What do you want?!"   
  
"I just want to know, where did the people go that use to live here?" Syaoran asked quickly.  
  
The girl tilted her head and shrugged, "I don't know." She was about to close the door again when Syaoran blocked it from closing with his foot.  
  
"Wait," Syaoran said urgently. "I really really really need to know what happened to them..."  
  
The girl examined him for a while, and then searched his eyes. "....Ugh, ok ok." The girl reopened the door and stepped aside. "Come in and I'll tell you a bit."  
  
Syaoran thanked her gratefully as he stepped into the cozy house.   
  
The girl went over to the TV and turned it off as she sat down on one of the plush couches. "Well, you are talking about the Kinomoto family I think."  
  
Syaoran's eyes lit up at the familiar name. "Yes! That's the people I'm looking for."  
  
The girl shrugged and sighed, "I can't really help you with anything. I just moved here because I'm getting my education here. My dad sent a load of money over for me to rebuild the old house. It was yellow and it wasn't my color." She added. "My dad said the Kinomoto's were selling it for cheap so yeah, we bought it. What else is there to say?"  
  
"Like...about the family!" Syaoran said quickly.  
  
The girl raised an eyebrow and seemed to think deeply for a while as she stared down at the maroon carpet. "Hmm...I heard that their daughter kind of looked like me, but not really."  
  
"That's true, but not really..."  
  
"You know her?"  
  
Syaoran glanced away to a painting hanging over the TV of an ocean. "Uh...I guess..."  
  
The girl smiled slightly, "I see. Well, one thing I know is that the time the family moved, the daughter wasn't with them."  
  
"What?" Syaoran uttered.  
  
The girl shrugged, "Don't look at me like that, I don't know much. Then the rest of the family just kind of moved somewhere I guess."  
  
Syaoran frowned, "Do you know where they moved too?"  
  
"Nope, sorry," The girl said with a sympathetic look on her face.  
  
He got up from the couch and went to the door in a hurry. "Thanks for the info." And he left in a hurry.  
  
The girl tilted her head again, her wet auburn hair sloshing to one side. "What a strange guy."  
  
  
  
  
_"Ooooh I don't feel so good...." A girl said with a slur as she walked in a swaying motion.  
  
Alot of teenage girls and boys were around the area, it seemed like a big backyard with a pool in the middle. Some people were diving into the water, all clothes and shoes on, some nearly falling in.  
  
Loud music was being played, it was almost defeaning, and it was really late at night.  
  
The girl who had complained a while ago was being helped into the house by a boy who supported her up the stairs and into his room.  
  
She felt her body hit a soft bed as she groaned in pain, her headache wasn't helping in this sitaution and she was starting to see blurry...why did the room seem so dark?  
  
But...it seemed so bright...and dark...she groaned in annoyance as she at once saw black. And only black._  
  
  
  
Sae walked home slowly with her bag hanging over one shoulder as she grimly went up the sidewalk. _ I hate uphill walks..._She groaned inwardly.  
  
She glanced up with her emerald eyes and saw a young girl with dark hair braided into two pigtails. She was running after another young girl. It seemed like they were chasing each other, and the girl with braided pigtails held a camera in one hand.  
  
"Stop running Mika!!" The girl pouted.  
  
Mika, a cute little girl with short caramel hair giggled. "Catch me if you can!!"  
  
"I'm trying to catch you on film!" The girl complained as Mika hid behind a tree and popped her head out.  
  
"That was a kawaii moment!!" The girl commented.  
  
Sae stared at the two little girls in interest as she felt oddly....close with these girls. Like she knew them, but not really, or like she had been like them before...  
  
_When I was a kid...did I have times like them?_ Sae thought sadly._ I so badly want to remember..._  
  
She continued on her way home as she sighed. Some how she didn't really feel like going home just yet. And so she decided to sit under the shade of a big tree as she leaned her back on the big trunk with her eyes closed.  
  
  
  
I always feel...sad...I usually feel sad. I guess I haven't been really happy for a while...maybe in my past I had good times...but if I did, how did I end up like this?  
  
I know I must've had a past right? No person doesn't have a past, but why can't I remember a _ thing_? I would die to know anything, even my real name! Sae...it just doesn't ring a bell. Life is so unfair...a simple desire to know your own childhood...  
  
Why do I have such a complicated life? What did I do to deserve this?  
  
The very first time I opened my eyes....I was wounded....I remember blood around me, coming from me. My blood. I can't remember clearly, but I had limped and crawled my way into this town, Tsuki. The first place I ended up was at Ms. Egima's...I think I must've fainted because the next thing I knew I was staring at a white ceiling in my now so-called bedroom.  
  
But...I so badly want to know_ my_ life. Not a girl named Sae's life. But _my_ life. Who am I? Isn't it pathetic to not even know my real name, parents, friends...basically...I don't know _me_ .  
  
Sometimes I think...maybe I was a princess from the past, all of a sudden I've been trasported to this time and place. And that through the transportation my memories had been erased. And then after...I think that would be highly impossible and a childish way to think. But hey? It's possible.  
  
Then I imagine myself as an angel...being banished from heaven and hell down onto pityful earth. Where I'm a mess with a blank memory and a wonderful scar thing on my face. But that's a bit absurb.  
  
The more human thought is that...I'm just a girl in this world who has no idea who the heck they are.  
  
Great.  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran stuck his key into the door and turned the knob to reveal the familiar apartment he had lived in when he was still a little boy. He chuckled slightly as he remembered how stubborn he had been in getting the Clow Cards from that innocent little girl.  
  
He flicked on the lights and glanced at the room, noticing the nothing had really changed, except the fact that it didn't hold the warmth and happiness it use too.  
  
Then he suddenly remembered something as he dropped his luggage. _The Clow Cards!! Shouldn't I be able to trace Sakura's aura...or even the cards...and the stuffed animal!!_ Syaoran exclaimed in realization as he smiled at his new discovery.  
  
He went onto his balcony and closed his eyes in concentration, using all his senses to trace down those familiar auras. _I should be able to feel them...they're very strong..._  
  
After a few minutes he was faltering. He felt nothing. Emptiness. No magic in the air.  
  
It felt awfully ancient too. As if Tomoeda had been rid of any trace of magic, and all of a sudden he had entered and magic filled the air once again after a long time.  
  
_What happened? They can't just disappear like that!_ Syaoran thought desperately as his eyes went from left to right at the small town below him. Where were the Kinomotos? Did they move that far away?  
  
_...Sakura...what...on earth happened to you?  
  
  
  
  
  
_"Sae dear, how was school?" Ms. Egima asked while she was sweeping the floor of the living room.  
  
Sae slipped off her shoes and sighed softly. "Well..it was ok, the usual day."  
  
"I see..." Ms. Egima replied as she placed the broom against the wall. "I have a surprise for you Sae!"  
  
"Hoe? What surprise?" Sae questioned, curiousity and a bit of excitement was in her voice.  
  
Ms. Egima smiled, "We're going to go for a one week trip to one of the towns near us. I've decided you should go see some different places then just Tsuki."  
  
"Oh! When are we leaving?"   
  
"Two days from now, we're going to a town called Tomoeda," Ms. Egima explained.  
  
Sae blinked. _Tomoeda..._.that name just rang a bell somewhere.   
  
"Are you ok?" Ms. Egima asked the slightly dazed Sae.  
  
"Oh yeah, I was just thinking of what to pack!" Sae smiled as she limped up the stairs to sit on her desk chair.   
  
_I'm going to Tomoeda...but that name is really familiar... _She closed her eyes and leaned back on her chair as she spun herself in circles. An image of a hand throwing a baton came into her mind...it went up into the air...and then hurtled down....and then she heard a cry of surprise as the baton most likely hit the thrower's head.  
  
_Now where did that come from....S_he quickly opened her eyes and glanced out the window. _Tomoeda..._  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Sae is going to Tomoeda!!!!! What will happen when she goes there? Will a certain someone and someone meet? Stay tooned to find out :)  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Crossing Paths

  
  
  
  
AN: OH MY GOSH....Guess who's back??!!! ME!!!!!! Hehehehe lol...I'm sooooooo SORRY!! I haven't updated for what?? TWO MONTHS??? Or less? Or more? But since school started and I've just switched to a new school and all, I had to have some time to fit in and stuff :P Also I kinda just...drifted away from my fics...which I shouldn't have!! But now me back, hopefully I won't drift off again :P I can't even remember what I'm writing about!! Anyways, I'll shud up now ^^  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Four: Crossing Paths  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He dashed down the empty street, for it was almost midnight and no one would want to walk outside in the drizzling rain at this time of the day.  
  
But he had to, he had to find her.  
  
His messy brown hair was damp and was starting to get in the way of his sight as he ran the doorbell repeatedly. He was standing in front of a mansion, a very familiar mansion to him.  
  
His amber eyes scanned the area, old times filled his thoughts.  
  
"Li-kun...?"  
  
His eyes snapped back towards the ebony door and saw a very familiar person, just she looked more mature. Her amethyst eyes seemed tired, as she stiffled a yawn.  
  
"Daidouji-san, gomen nasai for waking you up," He said quickly.  
  
Tomoyo shook her head, "It's ok, I haven't seen you in ages!!" She stepped aside to let the wet figure of Syaoran into the warm hall.  
  
"What brings you back to Tomoeda...?" Tomoyo asked slowly, although she knew he came back for...  
  
Syaoran slipped out of his shoes and ran a hand through his wet and tangled hair. "I need your help."  
  
Tomoyo feared what he was going to ask, but she nodded nonetheless. "...Well?" She lead him into the living room and plopped herself down onto the couch.  
  
"I can't find Sakura," Syaoran said in desperation. "She's gone, where is she?!" He starting getting furious, and more desperate by the second. "We promised...to meet..." He lost his words and flopped himself onto the couch behind him.  
  
Tomoyo knew he was looking for Sakura. Who and what else could bring the little wolf back to Tomoeda? She sighed and clasped her hands together, her face slightly pale. "...You're right." She uttered.  
  
"Nani?"   
  
Tomoyo lifted her eyes to stare at Syaoran's face. "You said 'she's gone'." And then her eyes went downcast again.  
  
"...Daidouji-san!! This isn't helping me! Just tell me, where is she?!" Syaoran stood up again, his amber eyes flaring.  
  
"I don't know!!" Tomoyo didn't want to raise her voice, but she couldn't help the mixed emotions in her.   
  
Syaoran walked over to her and gripped her shoulders. "How can you not know?! You're her lifetime bestfriend!!"  
  
Tomoyo wiggled out of his grasp and stared at him with wide eyes. "Stop it Li Syaoran!! I don't know where Kinomoto Sakura is."   
  
The two stared at each other for almost a minute before Syaoran's fire died down. "I'm sorry..." He apologized quietly. "I overeacted..."  
  
Tomoyo's eyes went sympathetic as she tucked a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear. "It's ok Li-kun...I know how you feel.."  
  
He buried his face into his hands and looked up. "Do you...at least know...what happened? Why isn't she here? I'm so confused..."  
  
Tomoyo sighed and began, "It was...a while ago now...possibly a year already..." Her eyes seemed afar, as she struggled to remember the memories she hadn't want to bring up again. "Sakura suddenly disappeared. It was a dark night, rain hitting against the streets like bullets...her father said she took the car with her too. And she never came back."  
  
"...Why though?" Syaoran questioned, his amber eyes filled with confusion.  
  
"We all don't know...but we know Sakura left for reason. She's not the type to leave her family and friends behind without telling us anything." Tomoyo said with confidence as she walked over to Syaoran.  
  
She gripped his hands in hers. "Believe in her, Li-kun. She didn't leave us for no reason, don't be mad at her, don't hate her...just..."  
  
"I'm going to find her," Syaoran stood up, Tomoyo releasing her grip on his hands.  
  
"It's been over a year, we've tried," Tomoyo mumbled.  
  
Syaoran still seemed unshakened. "Where did Sakura's family go?"  
  
"Her father and brother moved...they didn't tell me where, but I think posisbly in Tokyo somewhere, at least that's what my mother told me. Kero is actually with me right now..."  
  
"The stuffed animal? That's great! He'd be a great help.." Syaoran was cut off as Tomoyo interupted.  
  
"No...Kero obviously tried looking for his master, the Sakura Cards even started going wild at the absence of their beloved master..." Tomoyo said sadly. "They got so desperate and furious, just like you, that Kero had to seal them back into the Sakura Book. It used alot of his strength."  
  
"He tried everything he could. But not a trace of her aura could be found."  
  
Syaoran frowned, "Maybe she's far away, or not in town."  
  
"Well, then I guess we're going to have to flip the world inside out until we find her." Tomoyo replied.   
  
"Fine, if that's the only way, I'll do it." Syaoran said defiantly.  
  
She stared him for a moment, and a small smile broke across her face. "I know you'll find her, Li-kun. If you need any help at all, just give me a ring."  
  
Syaoran nodded, "Arigatou Daidouji-san."  
  
  
  
  
A small smile was across her lips as she folded her clothes neatly into a small light pink suitcase. She was going to Tomoeda, and she didn't know why she felt so excited.  
  
It would be her first time leaving the small and secure town of Tsuki, but she also felt that...there was something about Tomoeda.  
  
After Mrs. Egami had told her about their trip, she had looked up Tomoeda in any possibly resource she could get to. Sae didn't know why she felt so curious about this alien town that she had never been to, but she knew there was something about it that Tsuki didn't have.  
  
They were going to leave on a 3:00 PM skytrain, which was only hours away much to Sae's delight.  
  
She threw in her toothbrush, toothpaste, towl, and happily shut her suitcase.  
  
"All set!"  
  
  
  
Syaoran stood at the train station, his luggage in one hand, and in the other hand, his train ticket.  
  
"All set to go!"  
  
He turned to see Tomoyo pulling her suitcase along with her. He nodded, "Thanks for coming along with me."  
  
"No problem," She smiled. "If it's something to do with Sakura, I'm in it too!"  
  
"You sure Eriol won't get jealous?" Syaoran smirked as he thought about the half reincarnation of Clow.  
  
Tomoyo giggled, "Naw, he knows we're just all looking for Sakura....You know, it's rather strange that the search for Sakura has suddenly just started again...I never thought it would. I thought...there would just be no hope."  
  
Syaoran frowned, "There is hope though." And he glanced at his watch, 3:00 PM.  
  
"Our train's here," He said quickly as he made his way to the skytrain.  
  
Tomoyo followed closely behind, and the doors to their train slid shut just as an annoucement rang through the station.  
  
"_3:00 train from Tsuki, arriving in station B!_"  
  
  
  
  
AN: Aw man!! ALMOST...they might've seen eachother! I'm so evil :P Sorry :P Once again, I apologize for my very very long absence, and I hope I won't do that again -.- Please R+R!!  



	5. I cannot lose hope

  
  
  
  
  
AN: Hehehe thank you for the reviews so far :) Keeping meh smiling ^_^ Lots of homework now, since my mid term exams are coming up, not fun -.-^ Well, I'm going to leave you now to read Ch. um...5!!  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Five: I cannot lose hope  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She stepped out of the train, with her emerald eyes meeting the afternoon sunshine. Her curious eyes gazed from left to right, until she felt a tap on her shoulder.  
  
"Come along now, we better get to our hotel." Mrs. Egami said while dragging her bag along with her.  
  
Sae followed slowly behind, still mesmerized by Tomoeda's train station. _I haven't been here have I?_ She tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her ear, and quickly caught up with Mrs. Egami while people were casting her strange glances.  
  
"Where are we staying?" Sae asked quickly while panting, it was rather hard for her to walk quickly with a limp.  
  
Mrs. Egami patted her back softly and smiled, "Tomoeda Central Hotel, it's really close to...a school I think."  
  
"That's neat," Sae smiled brightly as Mrs. Egami called for a cab.  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran stared out the train window, closing his tired eyes while memories zipped by him. He sighed, and Tomoyo heard, looking sadly at him with her worried eyes.  
  
_Oh Sakura-chan...what happened to you?_ Tomoyo glanced at the map in her hands. _I guess...we're going to search all of Japan for you Sakura!_ Determination shown on her face and eyes.  
  
The little wolf turned to Tomoyo and half smiled half frowned. "I guess, this is some long journey huh?"  
  
"...Don't worry Li-kun! I know we'll find her!" Tomoyo said encouragingly.  
  
"I hope you're right...so when are we getting off this train?" Syaoran stiffled a yawn.   
  
Tomoyo scanned her map and read out, "Esumi. It's a small town really near Tomoeda, and after Esumi the next stop is...Tsuki! Not a very small town, but Tomoeda is still slightly larger in size and population." Tomoyo explained.  
  
Syaoran scratched his head, "I feel stupid."  
  
"Why?" Tomoyo blinked and then reached into her hand bag and pulled something out.  
  
"What if we're going on some....wild goose chase..." Syaoran hesitated when he felt there was more than Tomoyo's eyes watching him. He glanced at her and saw that menacing video camera and he sweatdropped. "Daidouji..."  
  
She giggled and beamed, "Since there's no Sakura-chan to tape, I will tape Li-kun!! And when we find her, I can show her our adventure!" She continued to giggle and Syaoran just stared at her.  
  
"That's a very..nice idea?" Syaoran mumbled.  
  
"Next stop Esumi. I repeat, next stop Esumi."  
  
Tomoyo stared at the loud speaker above them and picked up some of her bags from the floor. "Ok, we better get our stuff."  
  
"Hai," Syaoran got his bags and stepped out of the train quickly, Tomoyo following at his heels.  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to find that special pink aura he missed so much...but to no avail he felt nothing. "...I can't feel her.."  
  
Tomoyo tilted her head and stared in the direction Syaoran was staring at. "Well, we can't rely on magic to find Sakura! Maybe for some odd reason her aura's hidden now...and..."  
  
"...Yeah...ok. We're going to search Esumi..." Syaoran said. _For you, Sakura._  
  
Tomoyo smiled, "That's the spirit!"  
  
Then something hit Syaoran. "Hey!"  
  
"Hey what?" Tomoyo blinked.  
  
"Where's that...stuff animal? You left him at home...right?" Syaoran said hopefully.  
  
Tomoyo nodded, "Yep, I know you two don't get along..."  
  
"WHO SAID WE DON'T GET ALONG?"  
  
Tomoyo and Syaoran jumped back at the sudden loud noise. "Kero-chan!!" Tomoyo stared at the bear head that had popped out of her jacket pocket. She quickly stuffed him back in. "Don't pop out like that! People will see you!" She whispered quickly.  
  
"Neh..but I've been stuffed in here for so long! And to think I'm a guardian beast! Disrespect to your elders!" Kero cried.  
  
Tomoyo frowned, "Well...uh..we'll buy you lots and lots of pudding!"  
  
"PUDDING?!"  
  
"SHUSH!!" Syaoran and Tomoyo both hissed.  
  
Kero sweatdropped inside the pocket. "Ok ok, as long as I get my pudding."  
  
Syaoran sighed, "Stupid stuffed toy."  
  
"HEY I HEARD THAT!"  
  
"SH!!" Tomoyo stared at the many people giving the weird looks. She quickly hurried along and Syaoran followed.  
  
  
  
  
"Waa!! Kirei (beautiful)!!" Sae smiled as she pressed her face against the window at the cherry blossom trees passing by. "For some reason, these cherry blossom trees look so much prettier here then those small ones back in Tsuki, neh Egami-san?"  
  
Mrs. Egami chuckled, "Yes my child, I see you're liking this place already."  
  
"I am!" Sae giggled as the cab drove past a large apartment.  
  
She stared at it, and continued to stare until the cab turned and the apartment building was out of sight. Sae frowned to herself. _What was that...weird feeling?_ _I feel like...something familiar is there?_  
  
"We're here," The driver announced.  
  
Mrs. Egami thanked him and handed him the correct ammount of money while Sae got out of the cab and stretched her arms.  
  
"We have to check in dear," Mrs. Egami explained while they entered the double doors of the hotel.  
  
Sae once again scanned the lobby with awe. She had never been in a hotel, at least for what she could remember she hadn't. "Egami-san, can I go look around town?"  
  
"...Well..."  
  
"I'll be careful," Sae smiled and walked towards the door.  
  
"I guess so, but remember we're in room 432!" Mrs. Egami called after her.  
  
Sae looked over her shoulder and nodded, "Hai!"  
  
  
  
"Has a Kinomoto Sakura ever come here before?" Syaoran asked desperately at the lady standing behind the counter.  
  
She tapped some things into the computer and shoke her head. "Gomen neh, no person by the name of Kinomoto Sakura has ever checked in a room here before."  
  
Tomoyo thanked the lady and turned to face Syaoran. "Don't give up hope Li-kun. Sakura's depending on us to find her."  
  
Syaoran sighed and nodded as they exited the hotel. "No...that's wrong."  
  
Tomoyo blinked, "What's wrong...?"  
  
"If Sakura wanted to come back...come back to us, she would've come back..." Syaoran frowned as relization hit him. "She doesn't want to come back! She broke our promise, and now she's even dumped her whole freaking load of friends...and responsibilities..."  
  
"Li-kun! Stop it! You're doing it again...you know Sakura." Tomoyo said firmly. "You know Kinomoto Sakura, you love her. There's got to be a reason why she's not coming back. She would not, I repeat, would not, leave us like that unless it was something...big."  
  
Syaoran burried his face into his hands and frowned, "Gomen nasai Sakura-chan..." _I shouldn't talk about Sakura like that...I can't...Tomoyo's right..  
  
_"So let's...get moving. Sakura's waiting," Tomoyo said while holding her video camera in her other hand.  
  
"Tomoyo is right gaki! And you shouldn't lose hope in Sakura!" Kero scowled.  
  
Syaoran frowned, for once he agreed with Kero.  
  
_I cannot lose hope...  
_  



	6. Moment of Reflection

  
  
  
  
  
AN: I have nothing much to say except for that in this chapter you get to know a little bit more...about...um...the plot I guess :) Hope you enjoy~ See you guys around ^_^ Oh and also Happy Halloween for those that are in the area that celebrate Halloween :)  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
_Thinking_ in italics  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Six: Moment of Reflection  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_  
  
  
She stared at the white washed walls and the dim litted light that hung so low. She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she stared uneasily at the closed door in front of her.  
  
Her hand on her stomach, she stared down at it idly and winced. __** What if...what if...** She felt so frustrated and she knew that nothing would be right if..  
  
"Miss?"  
  
Her eyes shot up and found their way to the nurse's warm brown eyes. "...What is..it?" She said shakily.  
  
"It's positive miss," The nurse didn't seem to be able to read the girl's expression, therefore not knowing if she should congratulate_ _ the girl or not.  
  
The nurse examined the girl for a moment, and noticed she was either in a state of shock, or confusion. "If you need any help..."  
  
"No...no it's ok," The girl managed a very small smile and stood up from the plastic red chair. "I'll be leaving now." She said quietly as she picked up her pink bag.  
  
"And remember, come back here in a month for a check up to see if all is well," The nurse reminded but the girl was out through the doors already, leaving the nurse in a confused state._  
  
  
  
  
She rubbed her eyes as her emerald eyes were revealed to the setting sun. She looked at her surroundings, and found herself sitting on a bench, obviously in a park of some sort.  
  
"How'd I get here?" She questioned out loud as she glanced at the small digital watch on her hand. "Oh no, it's 7:30! I hope Egami-san will understand...what's getting to me lately?" _I just dozed off sitting right on this little bench..but that dream...so...real.  
  
_Sae pushedherself up into a standing position, one hand tracing the scar on her cheek. She sighed softly, a image flashing through her eyes.  
  
_A girl in a long coat ran and ran, clutching onto a bag, while the rain pounded down on her frail and lonely figure. Tears streamed down her soft cheeks, trickling down her chin like trails of star dust._  
  
"...I...I know that girl," She mumbled while walking slowly to the direction of the hotel. "That girl is...is..." She closed her eyes, trying desperately to remember...but her mind wasn't helping her, just making her more confused and lost. "Maybe I'm hullucinating." She chuckled softly, just as a breeze blew up.  
  
**_Come back to me..._**  
  
She looked over her shoulder, then to her left and right. _Oh my goodness,** I am** hullucinating..._ Her feet started carrying her at a quicker pace, her hands tucked safely into her pocket, giving her a little bit of comfort.  
  
**_"We'll meet here. April 1, promise?" _**  
  
The confused girl stopped in her tracks once again, auburn hair blowing into her frail and delicate face. She looked in front of her to see a row of cherry blossom trees, swaying with the wind.  
  
"Meet where...?" She walked up to the biggest tree of them all, and placed one soft hand on the withered trunk. _ Why can't I remember anything...but slowly, I feel like things are coming back now. Now that I'm here, in Tomoeda. But why Tomoeda_ ...  
  
**_"Home. China. Hong Kong. The clan wants me there so I can train to become the future leader."  
  
_**She stared at the pink flushed petals raining down on her, images flashing between every drop of a petal. Images...pictures...memories...moments...of her past. Yet they all only lasted for a second or even less. Though somehow...she knew one thing all of a sudden.  
  
"...There's someone...out there..." She looked towards the setting sun, and smiled slightly. "And...I think I'm suppose to be with them..."   
  
  
  
_  
"Find me, please?"  
  
"I'm trying, but why don't you come back to me?"  
  
A sad figure stared back at him. "I'm trying too!! I'm trying!!" The figure cried back.  
  
"I can't find you..." He uttered hoarsly, brown hair falling into his eyes.  
  
"You must, you have to find me," The figure called back, their voice fading off slowly.  
  
He felt himself step forward. "Wait...tell me where you are!"  
  
"...Lost..."_  
  
Syaoran awoke, his eyes met the ceiling and quickly focused to the dark room of his hotel room. "Sakura..?" He looked around, almost expecting her to be smiling back at him, and greeting him. But reality hit him, and he realized, she was still gone. Lost.  
  
_Stupid dreams... _He grunted while sitting up in bed.  
  
The room was quiet, the curtains blowing gently with the light breeze coming from the slightly open window. His bare feet touched the carpet as he walked towards it, gazing lazily outwards towards the star filled sky. They were shining brightly tonight, and Syaoran couldn't help but feel that it was because of Sakura. His angel of the stars.  
  
_I miss you..._ He felt his cheeks go red, and he shook his head, chuckling to himself._ Pointless..she's not even here, with me.  
  
_He sat there staring, until he felt his eyes grow heavier and heavier until he was unable to stay awake...and slowly he drifted into a sleep, with his last images as the night sky.  
  
  
  
  
Sae sat on the couch by the wall of her hotel room, shuffling a deck of cards in her hands. She flipped them all over so that their backs were facing her.  
  
_Time for some memory skills._ She smiled.  
  
Her hands darted around, trying to match the cards as quickly as possible. "There!" She clicked a stop watch beside her and glanced at its time. "4 mintues and 30 seconds." She announced, and scratched her head. "That's better than last time...slightly."  
  
When she was about to pick up the cards again, she could've swore she saw a flash of pink...pink cards? She shook her head and her normal cards stared back at her from the coffee table in which they were layed.  
  
"...Eh..?" She blinked twice and shrugged inwardly. _ Maybe my eyes are going bad...that wouldn't be so good..._  
  
"_Today, a fourteen year old girl of Tokyo gave birth to a child. The dad is unknown, and the parents of fourteen year old Kimi are devestated at what is happening_." Sae looked over towards the TV that she had turned on. She didn't like complete silence when she was sitting alone in a room.  
  
"Oh my..." She murmered thoughtfully. _So young too...  
  
_She returned her focus back onto her cards, but suddenly she lost interest in them as she pulled herself up. It was almost 10 PM, but for some strange reason she had an urge to feel the night time breeze of Tomoeda.  
  
Her feet carried her slowly towards the door, while grabbing a small jacket on the way.  
  
_ Wow...it's colder than I thought it would be.._.She pulled her jacket tighter against her body as she ventured the streets by the light of the street lamps.   
  
Outside it was quiet. Much more quieter than in the afternoon, when cars were busily going to their destinations, and with people running about.  
  
Now she was the only one, walking lightly on the street, unoticed to all.  
  
"Ha ha Tayshi, we better get out of here fast."  
  
Sae was startled at the sudden voice of another person, she had thought she was the only one out on a walk. Her eyes scanned the area and saw a few shadows lurking behind some bushes.   
  
Suddenly, the shadows were now people, in front of her, with wide eyes staring back at her. "Holy shit, there's a girl!" One of them whispered too loudly.  
  
Sae shrunk back, she wanted to run, but her feet were glued to the spot. They seemed frightened at her, but she knew it was just a moment's shock.  
  
One of them finally snapped out of it and smirked, "It's just a girl for god's sake Liu."  
  
"Yeah yeah, well we better hurry, De..." Yet he was cut off.  
  
"Hurry what?" Came another voice off in the distance.  
  
Sae's eyes snapped towards the direction and saw another shadowy figure appear, slowly getting clearer and clearer...as it approached..closer and closer...  
  
"KINOMOTO?!" The figure cried.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Cliffhanger!!! Kekekekeke, evilness :P Who is this person?? Oh ho ho :P!  
  
_  
_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. A Thousand Questions

  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Hehe, some of you guessed who this stranger person was...was it Meiling? Eriol? Well, one of you guessed correctly ^_^ The answer is none of them..so who is it? Read on~  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Seven: A Thousand Questions  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She blinked her round eyes, a thousand questions forming in her utterly confused mind. Her eyes stared straight into dark orange ones that were as wide as hers.  
  
They were both in complete shock. Though Sae had no idea why she was shocked, but it seemed like the young man standing in front of her did know why.  
  
"...Nani?" Was the only thing she could utter as she was finally able to feel her feet again.  
  
The young man came closer, his spiked green dyed hair and fiery orange eyes coming closer into view. Sae couldn't help but notice he rather looked like a pumpkin, except he wasn't as plump and round as one.  
  
"Kinomoto! What.....? You disappeared like...centuries ago!" He declared in astonishment as he came right up to her.  
  
She could feel his hot breath wisping around her, giving her slight chills as she stepped back slowly. "I...I..." She stuttered, lost for words.  
  
"Have you lost your voice?" He smirked slightly and his hand reached out to her.  
  
She instinctively shrunk back, but his hand brushed against her scar. "Now look what happened to your pretty little face. What did you do to yourself?" He raised an eyebrow.  
  
Sae shivered, "Who...wh..o are you?" She managed to ask in a soft and shakey voice.  
  
The boy burst into laughter as he shook his head sadly at her. "Now now Sakura, _my dear_. Just cause we had so much fun years ago and that we haven't exactly kept in touch, doesn't mean you have to act like a stranger to me, _darling_."  
  
"What are you talking about!" Sae felt her energy rise as she finally got her senses back. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and confusion, and all she could do was ask questions.  
  
The boy ran a hand through his spiked hair and grinned at her. "Stop it Kinomoto. It's not like no one knows what happened. Everyone knows, don't be shy." He sneered.  
  
One of his friends came up beside him. "Whoa! So this is the well talked about Kinomoto Sakura?"  
  
Sae felt lost, what were these people saying. "You are all crazy!"  
  
The boy with the spiked hair that had previously talked to her frowned sadly at her with wide puppy eyes. He stepped right up to her and placed both hands on her shoulders. "Sakura, are you in the mood to do it again with me?" He said innocently.  
  
Sae pushed him away with as much strength as she could muster. "GET AWAY FROM ME!!"  
  
"You didn't act like that when we had sex," He acted hurt, while his friends laughed.  
  
"I've never...done anything of that sort!!" She said shakily as she felt her cheeks burn and her eyes brim with fresh tears.  
  
The spiked hair boy spat and looked disgusted, "Man gurl, just admit what you do. Don't act like a innocent virgin when you're completely just a slut. I mean, back then you were worth doining it with, you had a pretty face, had a perfect body. Look at you now! It's not like I care if you admit that we've done it or not. Ch!" He stalked off with his friends and looked over his shoulder one last time. "And if you seriously don't remember, then you've must of done alot of guys." He winked and disappeared into the dark shadows of the night.  
  
Sae felt herself go weak as she turned on her heels to run.  
  
_Why is life so unfair?_  
  
  
  
  
_  
**Help me, please.**  
  
He felt his feet picking up pace as red autumn leaves swirled at his feet. "Where are you? Just tell me!"  
  
__**I can't remember....**  
  
"What?!" He felt his voice echoe in the empty vast field of leaves and trees.  
  
__**Can't remember.....anything...at all...**  
  
He found himself walking towards a shadowed figure. He couldn't see their features, couldn't see a thing at all. "...Is that you..?"  
  
__**Find me, fast.**  
  
"...Sakura?"  
__  
**Gomen nasai.....** He heard her voice..it was her. He was positive.  
  
"I'm here, Sakura. Don't worry..."  
  
**Iie (no)...**  
  
The shadowed figure came closer, and he waited.   
  
**Closer...  
  
and closer....**  
  
Slowly he could see the familiar strands of auburn hair...sparkling in the sun's light.  
  
**Closer...  
  
and closer......  
**  
His eyes went wide.  
  
Blood...  
  
Everywhere....  
  
He screamed.  
_  
  
  
  
Syaoran awoke in a cold sweat, his hand flew to his cheeks and felt the dampness of them. He was crying, well, he had been.  
  
His breath was raspy and quick, as he grabbed the cup of water on the night table next to him and drank it all in. _Sakura..._  
  
"No, I need to find you, right now...something's not right..." He felt himself hitting the bed post as he stumbled out of bed towards the door.   
  
He flung it open, surprised to see Tomoyo's bright eyes staring back at him with shock. "Daidouji!"  
  
"Li-kun! ...I heard your scream, and I woke up...and I..."  
  
He leaned against the door frame, his eyes fell to the floor. "Sakura...she needs me...." He mumbled, choking from the strain in his voice.  
  
Tomoyo looked at him sadly. "Li-kun..."  
  
"Let's go," His head snapped up as he ran back into his hotel room and flung open the closet.  
  
Tomoyo stepped in, confused. "What??"  
  
"We're going, to...what's that town? ....Tsuki??" Syaoran said while flinging all his clothes into the dark green case.  
  
"Right now?!" She shrieked.  
  
"Hai, right now," Syaoran answered while running into the bathroom and grabbing his toothbrush and towels.  
  
Tomoyo rubbed her eyes and smiled slightly, "Hai."_ I hope we'll find Sakura...oh Sakura.....please let us find you..._  
  
  
  
  
Sae flopped onto the bed and buried her face into the pillow. She felt herself crying, and she didn't know why. "Why is everyone always so mean to me...even if I completely don't know them!!" She cried into the pillow, muffling her voice.  
  
Kinomoto Sakura.  
  
That name rung in her ears, and it just wouldn't fade.  
  
"Why..? Why did they mistaken me as someone else..? Do I know those people? Do they really..know me?" Sae lifted her head from the tear stained pillow and frowned. "Maybe I should have stayed and asked them..."  
  
"Iie...what I did was right," Sae shook her head. "They might've been crazy, or dangerous...yeah.."  
  
But in the depths of her mind she couldn't help but feel a weird nagging feeling that she might've been able to find out if she was a girl named Sakura.  
  
And so she decided...that she was going to find those people again and confront them with her endless questions.  
  
Of her life.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: I have another idea for a new fic and I really want to get it started ^_^;; Well, this fic is almost drawing to an end....maybe two-three more chapters? Or four? I'm not sure! But expect S+S to be together soon :'(! It's such a pain to pull them apart :'(!  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Phone Calls

  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Eight: Phone Calls  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He pulled his green jacket tighter around his body while his hand brushed against the soft wool of his green scarf. His attention at once snapped to the scarf that hung so loosely around his neck, not really giving him warmth, but he would never throw this scarf away. _She_ had made it for him. _She_ had spent so many nights making it for him, and to him, it was all he could ever ask for.  
  
Tomoyo drew in her breath deeply and letting it slowly seep out of her lips again as Syaoran and her walked silently in the night. She glanced at the watch sitting on her thin wrist- it was 2 am in the morning. "Li-kun, are you sure we can make it there by walking?"  
  
"Yes," Was his soft reply as he coughed into his hand.  
  
Tomoyo frowned slightly at him, "You won't catch a cold will you?"  
  
"Iie (no)," He replied once again.  
  
"Demo (but)...you seem to be coughing alot," Tomoyo said worridly, she didn't want her friend to be sick, not now, not when they were searching for Sakura.  
  
Syaoran reassured her with a small smile that was barely visable. "Tsuki isn't so far from this town, it's probably only an hours walk away. That's not too far..." His voice trailed off.  
  
Tomoyo sighed, one hour of walking wasn't exactly the shortest walk one could have, but it wasn't that bad, and she would go on, for Sakura and for Syaoran's undying hope. "...Li-kun..."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"What if we don't find anything there, just like we found nothing here. No one ever heard of Sakura Kinomoto, and...think about it, its been five years, no one would have remembered if they've seen some girl walking the streets with auburn hair and green eyes!" Tomoyo cried, her bright eyes dimming and slowly watering.  
  
Syaoran stopped walking, silence once again consummed them. "...I...but.....EAGH!!" He threw his arms in the air and his face dropped in defeat.  
  
Tomoyo wiped away her tears and shook her head. "Iie, I was just getting desperate. We should..."  
  
"NO," Syaoran answered firmly.  
  
Tomoyo shrunk back, scared at Syaoran's sudden anger and reaction. "...Nani?"  
  
"You're right," Syaoran said in a flat tone. "What are we doing? We're doing something that's pointless, this is nearly impossible. We're just roaming Japan, expecting to ask someone and they're going to say 'Yeah! I know her!'." Syaoran smirked. "But that doesn't happen, in our dreams it would, in a movie it would, but this is real life...what have I been thinking?"  
  
"Li-kun..."  
  
"Pointless, I've never been more idiotic," Syaoran muttered.  
  
"Stop it! I'm sorry for making you think this way, it's all my fault!" Tomoyo cried. "I shouldn't have said we won't find anything. Gomen!! We will find her..."   
  
Syaoran lifted his head to greet the dim light from the street lamps as he ran one hand through his tangled mass of brown hair. "Well, I'm not giving up...just...we need to do something else then just jumping around Japan."  
  
Tomoyo sighed when suddenly Kero popped out of her jacket pocket looking dazed. "Stupid gaki!! You woke me up with your loud screaming!!"  
  
Syaoran growled and Kero glared at him back, Tomoyo sighed, "This is not the time to have these little fights you two."  
  
Kero flew out of the pocket and nodded sadly. "Tomoyo's right."  
  
"Ugh, we need a plan," Syaoran leaned on the lamp post in frustration.  
  
Tomoyo placed a hand under her chin and tilted her head. "Did you check out where Sakura's old house is?"  
  
"That's it! Tomoyo! Do you have the Kinomoto's new address?"  
  
"Iie..." Tomoyo blinked. "They just...left without another word. Possibly a month after Sakura's disappearance."  
  
Syaoran frowned, "...Wait...I did check out that new house there. There was a girl, she kind of resembled Sakura, but it's not her. She said they moved...somewhere..." He squinted his eyes, trying to remember. "Wait...actaully she didn't know where they moved.."  
  
Tomoyo's emotionless face suddenly brightened a bit. "They moved somewhere in Tokyo!"  
  
"Hey...that's right!!" Kero flew around in circles. "I remember Sakura's brother saying something to Yukito about it. And then Yukito got upset and so he went with them! But they didn't pack anything except for clothing and things...and left everything else for the authority to handle."  
  
Syaoran stood up straight, "Then we're going to Tokyo."  
  
"But where in Tokyo gaki!!" Kero flew over to him.  
  
He brushed Kero aside and simply smiled, "Just...we're going to Tokyo, and then we'll find their address in the phone book or something, but we're going to Tokoyo, right now." Syaoran said firmly, finally seeing some hope in his long road to finding Sakura.  
  
  
  
  
  
She felt a soft tapping at her door as she rubbed her eyes. Her eyes stung from the sudden contact with the bright light coming from the window.   
  
"Sae!!"  
  
"Hai!! Coming!!" Sae hopped out of her itchy bed and went to the door to greet Mrs. Egami. "Ohayo Egami-san!" She said cheerfully.  
  
Mrs. Egami smiled warmly, "I just wanted to check on you. Do you have any plans for today?"  
  
"Well...a little plan I guess," Sae said thoughtfully while twisting one strand of hair in ond hand.  
  
Mrs. Egami nodded in understanding, "Then I'll leave you to your business, but tomorrow we're going around town together."  
  
"Sugoi!!" Sae smiled brightly at Mrs. Egami as she said good bye. _Hmm...how do I find that weird guy again?  
  
_After a while of pondering she decided that her only idea to find him was to wait until night and go to that same spot, possibly his gang and him might still be hanging around there. She knew it was a rather foolish thing to do, but she was so curious that she couldn't keep herself calm down for the rest of the day.  
  
Then she caught the site of a few phone books out of the corner of her eyes. She suddenly felt an idea strike her.  
  
"Kinomoto..Kinomoto...Kinomoto..." She traced her fingers along the many lines of names until she finally found the section that were filled with 'Kinomoto's. "Well, I guess I can phone all these numbers and I'll hit one of them to be Sakura Kinomoto's!" Sae said rather cheerfully as she picked up the phone.   
  
  
  
  
"Kinomoto.....found it!!" Kero announced proudly as he pounted his round paw at the bold faced names on the phone book.   
  
Syaoran took out his cell phone and stared at the long list of names in anger. "That's a hell lot of numbers." He grumbled.  
  
"Well you better start calling you chinese-gaki!"   
  
Tomoyo giggled slightly, it just felt like old times to her. "Well Li-kun, there's only five Kinomoto Fujitakas, so it won't take you that long."  
  
"Right," Syaoran looked at the first number on the list and started dialing. "Moshi moshi, is this Fujitaka Kinomoto?"  
  
Tomoyo and Kero waited anxiously as they watched Syaoran's facial expression to see if they had phoned the right number.  
  
Syaoran nodded a couple times and frowned a couple times before hanging up. "They said "Yes" and then I asked them if Touya was there, and they said no such name." He sighed.  
  
Kero scratched his head, "Well that means we phone the next number! Mou, I need more pudding for this labour!"  
  
"I'm the one doing all the calling here!" Syaoran snapped.  
  
Kero stuck his tongue out while Syaoran ignored him and continued on the list. "Next one is..." Tomoyo read out the number as Syaoran waited for someone to pick up.  
  
"Moshi moshi, is this Fujitaka Kinomoto?"  
  
"Ah? No, no, I'm not selling cookies..." Syaoran sweatdropped. "No no...I'm not selling anything at all!"  
  
Syaoran hung up in frustration after a few minutes. "He hung up on me!!"  
  
"Definately not Sakura's otou-san," Tomoyo nodded as she read out the third name on the list. "Here we go..."  
  
  
  
  
Sae scratched her head. There were no Sakura Kinomoto's on the list, but alot of Kinomotos. If only she knew other names of Sakura's family, then it would make life so much easier.  
  
She had spent a good fifteen minutes calling twenty different people that all thought she was crazy, a salesperson, or just a plain stupid teenager trying to ruin their afternoon. She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear as she picked up the phone again and read the next name. "Kinomoto Fujitaka....." She mumbled. "Again, this one must be the fourth one already..."  
  
Her fingers went around the numbers as she pressed them with a yawn.  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran pressed the last number on the phone as he waited for it to dial.  
  
  
  
  
Sae leaned back in the couch, twisting the wire around one finger when suddenly a busy signal filled her ear.  
  
  
  
Syaoran grunted, a busy signal. "It's busy." He declared.  
  
Tomoyo sighed, "Well that leaves one more left."  
  
  
  
Sae sighed as she placed the phone back in its spot.   
  
  
  
"Iie...I have a weird feeling," Syaoran said firmly as he pressed redial.  
  
"What are you doing?!" Kero scowled.  
  
Syaoran ignored him as this time, this time it was a ringing tone.  
  
"Moshi moshi?" A voice came from the other end.  
  
"Um...hello, is this...Fujitaka Kinomoto?"  
  
"Iie, gomen, my dad's out for the afternoon, do you want me to leave a message?" The voice asked.  
  
Syaoran blinked, "Your...father?"  
  
"...Yes, my father, do you have a problem with that?"  
  
"Um are you...To..uya?" Syaoran felt his voice shake as he waited anxiously for a reply.  
  
There was a pause, as if the other person was pondering wether to tell Syaoran the truth or not.  
  
"...Yes, this is Touya, who are you?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Diary of the Past

  
  
  
  
  
AN: We're finally getting to the end of the road =) Hehehe! Yay!! Well hope if you guys have time, you can drop by my other fic when you're bored =P Tee-hee! Thank you for all the support and comments!  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Nine: Diary of the Past  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sae sighed in defeat as she closed her phonebook while yawning into one hand. "That took me the longest time!" She flopped back onto her chair and stared at the ticking clock up on the wall and was surprised that it was quite late already.  
  
"I guess...I'll go check if those people are there..." She stood up slowly and grabbed her jacket on the way to the door.  
  
  
  
Syaoran felt his heart thumping as he gripped onto the precious piece of paper that had the Kinomoto's new address written on it messily with purple ink from Tomoyo.  
  
They were at the subway station ready to board the next train and all he could think of was the surprised voice of Touya and his fluttering stomach.  
  
"It's me, Li Syaoran."  
  
"NANI???!!"  
  
He had chuckled actually and nodded to himself. "Yes, it's me."  
  
"The gaki?! What?! How did you...and why...what?!" He could tell that Touya was confused, and Syaoran surely wasn't surprised.  
  
"I would like to...visit you guys..." Syaoran had said uneasily, unsure of how to put it into words.  
  
There had been a pause before Touya had sadly replied, "She's not here, if you're looking for her."  
  
"I know," Syaoran replied with the same voice of stone and no emotion at all.  
  
"Oh.." Although Touya acted as if he wasn't surprised, yet Syaoran could tell he was.  
  
And now he was standing here, watching the train approach. And with every step onwards, he was getting closer to solving the mystery of his lost cherry blossom.  
  
  
  
She stood quietly against the wall as she waited for any sign of noise of approaching people. At the current second, it was silence except for her soft breathing and the sound of insects singing in the night. She hugged her arms tightly around herself, trying to calm her own speeding heart.  
  
"God, tonight sucked!" She heard a male's voice cry out in annoyance.  
  
She recognized that voice, it was the same voice as the person with the spiky hair from yesterday. Sae quickly stepped out of the shadows and was met by the surprised young man.  
  
"What the hell! Kinomoto! Are you stalking me or what?!" He smirked, yet Sae could see the pure alarm written in his eyes.  
  
"I wanted to ask you some questions," She tried to hide the fear that she was feeling in the depths of her mind as she approached him calmly with her head held high.  
  
The boy looked amused, "Questions? Of what?"  
  
"My past," She stated simply, feeling her voice shake._ Iie (no) Sae! Don't let them know you're scared..._  
  
"What?!" Some of his gang stared at her as if she was crazy, but she didn't care.  
  
The spiked hair guy waved his hand at his gang and they retreated back to where they had crept out from. Leaving only him and Sae standing in the night's cool breeze.  
  
"What? You want to get at it again?" The young man winked.  
  
Sae frowned, "No...and I don't get what you mean."  
  
"You seriously don't?"   
  
"No."  
  
The young man looked more than amused, almost as if he was silently laughing at her through his menacing eyes. He smiled broadly. "Five years ago, we had sex." He stated simply.  
  
Sae gripped her fists inside her pocket as she shook her head wildly. "NO WE DIDN'T!! I NEVER DID! I don't even remember my life five years ago! I wasn't ALIVE!!" She shrieked.  
  
The boy's eyes widened and stared at her in disbelief. "Holy shit, Kinomoto's gone nuts! What is wrong with you?!"  
  
"NOTHING!! Why do you keep saying that?!" Sae felt so confused, she could feel her heart pounding loudly against her chest and the blood rushing to her ears.  
  
"It was during the night of the party, Satoshi's party. Remember him? We were celebrating the end of the year, and then we decided to do what we did." He stated matter of factly.  
  
Sae didn't believe what she was hearing. Even if she couldn't remember her past self, she couldn't have been such a...slut could she? She just wouldn't accept it, and she would not believe it.  
  
"No, you're lying!!" She hollered at him.  
  
The young man shrugged his shoulders, "If you want to deny it Sakura, then so be it. And stop wasting my time and stalking my gang and I like that. You freak us out." He laughed as he rejoined his group that was farther down the street.  
  
Sae stood alone on the street for quite a while, trying to fit her endless and confused mind together. It seemed like it was an impossible jigsaw puzzle with endless pieces that weren't meant to fit. And all she could do was cry.  
  
  
  
"I can't wait..!!" Tomoyo looked at the trees and buildings zipping by as she leaned back against the seat of the cab.  
  
Syaoran was staring intently at the scenery also, but he didn't feel like talking. He knew Sakura wasn't there waiting for him, but knowing that he was going to see the girl's family made his happiness soar into an endless sky of emotions.   
  
Kero popped out of Tomoyo's jacket once again and sneezed. "Mou! I'm not getting enough air!"  
  
"Shh Kero-chan! We're almost there," Tomoyo giggled slightly. Her mood had lifted too, and she no longer thought that finding Sakura was an impossible task.  
  
Syaoran noticed the cab was slowing down in front of a peaceful vanilla pink house with a beautiful front yard. He stared at it in awe. Although it wasn't large, it looked cozy and friendly, giving Syaoran a remindance of Sakura's beautiful nature.  
  
Tomoyo hopped out and was running up the pathway that led to the dark oak door while Syaoran decided to catch up to her.   
  
They waited anxiously for someone to answer, when finally a familiar looking man answered and actually smiled at them sheepishly. "Hey."  
  
"Ohayo Kinomoto-san!" Tomoyo greeted Touya warmly.  
  
Syaoran merily nodded, remembering his awkward past with Touya. At least they were no longer glaring at each other. "Ohayo."  
  
Touya moved aside to let them in as suddenly a pang of sadness hit him. They reminded him so much of the old times, when Sakura was still with them, alive and happy as ever. Now she just disappeared, without a trace or clue. "My father is out, but he will be back around dinner time. I guess you guys can hang around here until he gets back if you want."  
  
"Arigatou! That would be great," Tomoyo replied as she walked into the green carpeted living room.  
  
Syaoran followed closely behind and at once spotted the photographs in frames sitting on the counter ontop of the fireplace. His eyes watered, but he refused to let them spill. There was a picture of Sakura, back when they were in elementary school. It was the day of the school bazaar, and she was dressed in the cute little waitress outfit designed by the one and only Tomoyo Daidouji.  
  
There was also another one that sent more waves of emotions through him. He was in it also. They were at the carnival, and Sakura was holding onto a bunch of balloons while he was paying all his attetention on his cone of ice cream.   
  
He sighed, and Tomoyo glanced at him. "Daijoubu (it's ok) Li-kun." Tomoyo said with a smile. "We're at her house now, we're so close."  
  
Touya came into the room with a tray of tea and pastries and a stack of books. "I guess you two must be hungry by now. And if you get bored waiting you can look through these photo albums. They were Sakura's."  
  
And then he left them once again, and Tomoyo could tell that Sakura's beloved onii-chan was saddened by the reminder of the lost of his dear sister. Syaoran sat down at once, grabbing one of the photo album books and turning the covers slowly as if they would disappear if he flipped too hard.  
  
At once he was greeted by Sakura's cheerful smile, and he could almost hear her voice again in his head calling to him. _  
  
Syaoran-kun!  
_  
He sighed contently as he raised the book a bit higher, yet suddenly a thump was heard that caught both his and Tomoyo's attention.  
  
Both pair of eyes scanned the floor until they both hit the small item that had fell from the album. A small pink book with cherry blossoms printed on it. A diary.  
  
Tomoyo stared at Syaoran, and Syaoran stared back.  
  
They had found a diary of Sakura's. And they knew it was strictly rude to go through anyone's diary, but somehow, they felt like it was the book that would answer all their endless questions.  
  
Tomoyo at once plopped herself down beside Syaoran as he picked up the book slowly with shaking hands and flipped open the cover.  
  
"Sakura Kinomoto's Diary." It was printed in pink sparkly pen neatly on the first blank white page.  
  
"I think...maybe we should just jump to the last entry and not envade into Sakura's thoughts," Tomoyo suggested.  
  
Syaoran nodded and flipped through quickly until he hit blank pages again. The last entry was dated during the third week of summer vacation five years ago.  
  
July 29.  
  
Dear diary...  
  
I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I don't know how to put it into words how screwed up my life is now! I hate it all! I so badly wish..someone was here with me now. To hold me, and to comfort me...but that someone isn't here. He's somewhere in some other land, and I think he has forgotton about me. He has never replied to my mails...none at all.  
But now I'm alone, and even Tomoyo-chan can't help. No one can erase the mistakes I've made. I should have never gone to that party. I really shouldn't have. I hate myself. I HATE SAKURA KINOMOTO! I am a worthless stupid teenager that doesn't know not to leave a drink unwatched and drinking it again after leaving it for fifteen minutes. Who would have spiked my drink? I was just an innocent little girl, well not little, but who would?! I had the best life, I was the captain of the cheerleading team, and I guess...I had friends that truly cared for me. And after this one simple night, everything was ruined. Everything.  
I found out that I'm pregnant. Everything changed...I didn't know it would happen, I didn't even want it to happen! During that night of the party, all I remember was drinking my drink and then feeling all queezy. I remember that...someone familiar...I can't remember who exactly for it was all blurred, but they lead me somewhere. And I fainted. The next day I found myself sprawled on a bed with only the blankets over me. I knew what had happened, and all at once I felt like dying. I told no one. I was to ashamed of my carelessness, and I didn't want to worry or hear what my family or friends would say. Would they all hate me? And now I have another human being in my body. I can't take it. I really can't. Life is cruel, and it's all my fault. I guess it is my fault that my life is so messed up now...and I guess I am a coward, even if I am the card mistress, I can't be strong forever. I'm breaking down, but I think I've already broken and shattered. It's my turn to flee. Life isn't unfair if you make the right choices...and I haven't.  
  
-Sakura-  
  
  
Syaoran felt his grip tighten on the book as his face turned emotionless and stone cold. The hope in his eyes flared to anger as he stared upwards and knew that he had to find Sakura, and tell her that everything was ok. No one would hate her, no one would be mad at her. He had so many things to tell and express to her.  
  
And that he would always be there for her.  
  
  
  



	10. Star Crossed Skies

  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not much to say in a disclaimer, just that I don't own CCS and its characters since good ol' CLAMP does.  
  
" Speech  
( ) Translation  
Thinking in italics  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tears as Streams of Stars  
Chapter Ten: Star Crossed Skies  
2nd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sae stood huddled in her light green jacket as Mrs. Egami lead her into the aquarium. She looked at the rows and rows of aqua marine fish tanks full of many sea creatures she had never seen. Although it all looked so fresh to her, something in the back of her mind tingled.  
  
"Isn't that fish adorable?" Mrs. Egami pointed to the round fish floating lazily in front of them.  
  
Sae giggled, "Awww...he's so round!"  
  
As if on cue, the round fish blew flat and Sae and Mrs. Egami sweatdropped while breaking into laughter. "Or not," Sae smiled as they walked turned the corner.  
  
Sae smiled in awe at the spiraling staircase that had a cylinder fish tank running right from the floor to the ceiling in the center of it. "Kirei!!!" She squealed in delight as she ran up the staircase when suddenly she felt as if time was slowling down...  
  
Bright flashes of images...the fish tanks cracking...water pouring down like great waterfalls onto the many people below them...  
  
And then she was back in reality again when she realized that Mrs. Egami had caught up to her while looking at her sheepishly. "I'm not as young as you Sae, so wait for me." She teased.  
  
Sae looked at her lovingly as she pointed to the top of the staircase. "They have a small food court there, want to go have a snack?"  
  
"Gladly! I'm sad to say that I'm already worn out from running these stairs," Mrs. Egami laughed as they continued upwards.  
  
Sae took some money from the pocket of her faded blue jeans as she approached the counter. She stared intently at the man behind the counter, and she could tell he was eyeing her scar, much to her dismay.  
  
She coughed to get his attention again, "May I have two cones of strawberry ice cream please?" She asked politely.  
  
"Sure, be right back," The man said while walking to the freezer.  
  
Sae sighed intently, the past few days weren't so pleasant for her, but she felt that Tomoeda was more than just a place she was having a vacation at. And for a strange reason, she did not want to leave anytime soon.  
  
She started towards the table that Mrs. Egami had saved for them while holding the two cones carefully.  
  
Mrs. Egami smiled at her motherly.  
  
Sae plopped herself down on the plastic blue chair while taking a lick of her cold smooth ice cream. "We're leaving tomorrow neh?"  
  
Mrs. Egami chuckled and stared at her fondly, "Child, I see you are enjoying yourself here neh?"  
  
Sae nodded slowly, well at least she was enjoying today.  
  
"Well yes we are leaving tomorrow, but we can visit again if you wish."  
  
"Honto ne?!" Sae cried in delight, almost dropping her cone of ice cream.  
  
Mrs. Egami shook her head in agreement as Sae leapt up in joy.   
  
  
  
Syaoran, Tomoyo, and Kero walked down the steps of the Kinomoto residence with Sakura's diary tucked safely in Syaoran's pocket while Tomoyo carried some photos of their wonderful lost friend.  
  
"Let's go back," Syaoran said quickly, breaking the awkward silence of the trio.  
  
Kero blinked his black beady eyes at Syaoran. "Neh! Who said you were the boss around here kiddo?!"  
  
"Kero!!" Tomoyo shushed the little guardian beast, giving him a 'Syaoran's not in a good mood' look.  
  
Kero crossed his paws while pouting.  
  
Syaoran ignored him and was lost in his own thoughts. He felt like it was his fault...even though it might have sounded crazy to others. But what if he had come back earlier? He would have been able to stay by her side...and protect her from all the pain and harm she had come to while he was all the way in Hong Kong.  
  
Syaoran's heart ached, longing to see his emerald eyed cherry blossom safely in front of him, and even better, in his arms. Though Sakura's dad could not help them much, it cheered him up the slightest bit to see Sakura's family once again. Yet she wasn't there, and that was a big hole to their lives, and espeically him.  
  
Tomoyo frowned, knowing that Syaoran was probably blaming himself for all the events that had occured while he had been absent. She sighed, "It's not your fault Li-kun."   
  
"...What makes you think that I think it's my fault?" Syaoran's forehead scrunched up in annoyance. He did not like letting people know how he felt.  
  
Tomoyo smiled at him sadly, "I've known you since we were 10 Li-kun! I know what you're like, and because you love Sakura-chan so much, you think that everything that goes wrong is your fault. But it's not Li-kun, you couldn't help it because your clan needed you." Tomoyo insured.  
  
Syaoran glanced at the jeweled sky, his hand reaching into his pocket to feel the comforting leather of his angel's diary, all full of her thoughts and memories. He gripped it tightly inside his pocket, not wanting Tomoyo and Kero to see how badly he needed her at the moment.  
  
Yet he would not give up, and that was why he had to go back to Tomoeda, and somehow not give up on her.  
  
  
  
_Her pale clamy hands shakily held the car keys as she unlocked the car. She pulled her frail body into the driver's seat, tears streaming down her once bright and cheerful face, but now filled with sorrow and remorse.  
  
Auburn hair fell into her glazed emerald eyes as she blindly turned the car keys as the engine came to life, while she pulled out of the driveway and into the dark night.  
  
The light given off by the street lamps were of no use to her, for she saw them as blurry little light blobs through her liquified eyes. Tear after tear spilt over the rim of her eyes, cascading down her cheek and dropping onto her lap from her chin.  
  
Her foot suddenly applied more pressure to the pedal as she felt the road beneath her zip by, and the blobs of light disappearing quicker and quicker until there were no longer street lights.  
  
She assumed she was on some distant highway road or maybe she wasn't even on a road. Her lips quivered as images and emotions serged through her tired body, only yearning for one thing in the world.  
  
An end to her pain.  
  
She didn't know where she was going even, but she felt like breaking free from all the sudden changes in her innocent life of a teenage girl. Now she was nothing but innocent, a girl that had troubles and a child within her very body growing by the second.  
  
It sickened her greatly to think of such a thing, and once again, she applied more preassure and she felt the car going at its highest speed.  
  
Tear...after tear...appeared and stained her pants.  
  
Star...after star...appeared in the dark dark sky.   
  
As if wanting to cast some light to the girl's way, yet to no avail. The stars merily shone, helplessly watching as the girl drove madly and blindly...  
  
Until it was all to late.  
  
And a sickening screech and the sound of twisting metal was heard through the vast empty night sky.  
  
The stars blinked.  
  
As if they were suddenly wavered...  
  
And silence consumed the night once again.  
  
  
  
  
_Sae frowned, waking to the ticking of the clock in her hotel room as she jolted into a sitting position upon her soft matress. Her eyes scanned the room, afraid of her dream...  
  
"It's almost like my other one..." Sae mumbled as she yawned. "...A car crash...that's what it is..."   
  
_Why?  
  
_That single question rang through her head until finally she was too tired to think of it any more. "....Did that girl die?" She wondered before drifting off to another deep sleep.  
  
  
  
  
Tomoyo rubbed her tired eyes as her cell phone rang through the skytrain they were occupying. "Moshi moshi?" She asked softly.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan?" Came a familiar voice.  
  
"Eriol!!!" Suddenly she felt like she had just woken up from a whole year of sleep, and she was alive once again. "Where are you?! How are you?! I miss you!!" She squealed happily into the cell phone while giving a side glance to Syaoran who looked amused  
  
"How is my lovely lady and my cute little descendant?" His voice questioned.  
  
"I'm fine, a bit tired, but I'm alive! Li-kun? Not so good," She lowered her voice.  
  
"Hmm...well, where are you guys heading now?"  
  
Tomoyo leaned back in her seat, "Tomoeda."  
  
"Wonderful." Tomoyo could imagine Eriol's smile in her thoughts.  
  
"Eh? Why?" Tomoyo blinked.  
  
"Because I am in Tomoeda right as we speak," Eriol stated.  
  
Tomoyo's eyes widened as her heart quickened, "Neh?! Honto (really)?!"  
  
"Hai, and I'll be waiting for my Tomoyo to come back," He chuckled.  
  
"Sugoi!! And then we can all go look for Sakura-chan! We...found out a bit of what happened to her..." Tomoyo's voice trailed off.  
  
"...Well, anything is good..." Eriol said slowly. "But I've just arrived anyways, when are you two arriving?"  
  
"Very very soon!" Tomoyo replied happily.  
  
"I think I'll come and wait for you guys at the skytrain station."  
  
She nodded, even though he couldn't see her nod. "Ok...eh? How did you know we were coming by skytrain?"  
  
"I have my ways," Eriol stated mischeviously.  
  
Tomoyo giggled, Eriol was still her Eriol. "Ok then! Ja matte then?"  
  
"Ja ne," He replied.  
  
Syaoran noticed the sudden sparkle in Tomoyo's once dull tired eyes and smiled slightly at his friend's happiness. Admist all his sorrow, he was glad there was some light to it all. "Your lover boy?" Syaoran stated, more as a fact then a question.  
  
Tomoyo nodded happily, "Eriol will be at the station waiting for us."  
  
"Hm...I haven't seen him in a while," Syaoran mused as the familiar scenery of Tomoeda came into view again.  
  
"He's still Eriol," Tomoyo winked.  
  
Syaoran smirked, "That's great..."  
  
  
  
Sae carried her baggage with two hands as she limped her way slowly to the platform waiting for the skytrain to arrive. Mrs. Egami was in the restrooms which left her waiting out for the train alone.  
  
She leaned on her good foot while an announcement rang through the station. "Train from Tokoyo arriving in Station B."  
  
Sae yawned in boredom as she glanced at the arriving train out of the corner of her grass coloured eyes.  
  
The doors to it opened, and she saw two figures run out first. One with long dark hair that seemed awfully excited, and the other a calm, good looking, but rather serious looking boy, coming after her.  
  
Sae stared at them with interest. _What an interesting couple...  
  
_She spotted another young man joining the two of them. He had navy blue hair and round circular glasses, making him look awfully friendly but mysterious because of his dark eyes.  
  
Sae couldn't get her eyes off them, and that was when they turned and saw her.  
  
She noticed their surprised expressions.  
  
  
  
  
AN: Ehehehehehe.......!!!!!!! Gomen nasai!!!!! I'll try to update soon.....I might not be able to update for a ~while! since my mid-terms are in six days and I still need to study for like three subjects ._.!! Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter ;)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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